I’ve been too preoccupied this week with getting my car fixed, trying to catch up on tasks in my work assignment, and pondering what subjects to write about on this blog that I didn’t think of the significance of this particular date too much. But since WordPress appears to be big on anniversaries…
Yep, it was four years ago today that I launched this blog and posted my very first entry. Since that time, I’ve pounded into my keyboard, and onto this blog, lots of experiences to write about, positive things to trumpet, good people to highlight, fashionable things to marvel over, bad news to gripe over, poetry to express, and memories to share.
Writing this blog is not the easiest thing to do. There have been times where I’ve wracked my brain on what to write about. When I know when I want to write out, there’s also the issue of how to write it out; more than once I’ve edited and re-edited and re-re-edited a post. And of course, there are still times where my non-writing, non-Allison real life can intrude and keep me away from writing a post, just at the time when my writing juices are piqued.
But at least I do make an effort to write, and when I do I get a cathartic feeling over me. I feel truly excited to share my thoughts and feelings and good words to the world. It all results in a sense of pride when I hit that big blue button in the corner of my screen marked “publish.”
Hitting that “publish” button also brings a little bit of anxiety, in that I hope that those who read it will like it. But those fears vanish rather quickly, especially when seeing someone “like” my post or hearing someone tell me (especially in person), “You do a great job on your blog, Allison.” Even a little bit of constructive criticism buoys my confidence; at least they aren’t saying out loud that my blog stinks.
But above all else, and no matter what anyone else may say, I get a feeling of expressing my true self to the world with every single post. Yes, its all under a feminine nom de plume, but I feel secure expressing every bit of joy, heartbreak, disappointment, fondness, ecstasy… and pride in being myself and expressing who I am through words on a screen. It’s a far cry from the moment 37 years ago when a shy, teased, and insecure 11-year-old first felt a feeling of comfort when putting on a feminine garment.
To all of you out there, whether you’re WordPress peeps or simple readers, I sincerely thank you for your support. Whether it’s the form of good words, encouragement, challenges, applause, or just a simple hit of the “like” button, you’ve kept me going and kept me striving toward my desire to self-express my true self. Here’s to four more years.