Allison M.

A crossdresser's thoughts on life, fashion, fabulousness, and (oh yeah) dressing up


1 Comment

The definitions of “family”

This is the holiday season, a time usually observed with holiday-specific traditions, religious commemorations, parties, and gift giving.  This time is also usually associated with being with or at least thinking about the family members you know, love, and hold dear to your heart.  Or at least those who share with you some sort of trait.  When one thinks “family,” they usually associate the word with being bound by blood or marriage.  That includes the parents who raised you from youth to adolescence and wished you good luck and good guidance as you ventured into adulthood; the siblings who grew with you and look up and to you for mutual support; and the cousins, uncles, aunts, and grandparents who provide their own versions of love, support, and encouragement.

Unfortunately, for some in the broad LGBT+ community, the term “family” doesn’t mean the natural definition of parents, siblings, etc. noted above.  Many has been the case where someone who identifies as gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, or even simply questioning has been blackballed by their relatives.  Not only is it heartbreaking to think that those who identify as LGBT+ can face such shunning, it should also make one reconsider the traditional definition of “family.”

Continue reading

Advertisements


1 Comment

A happy anniversary

Okay, I should clarify right away the title of this post.  I’m not married or dating anyone (I’m still single).  It’s not my work anniversary (that was in September).  And it’s not this blog’s anniversary (that was last month).  But the day I write this post (December 9) marks one year since I first attended a transgender/crossdresser support meeting here in Madison.  As I recounted here, I had attended a Milwaukee support group a couple of times many years ago, and I longed to have the gumption to attend a similar group here in Madison.  One year ago tonight, I finally got the gumption to get dolled up, straighten that wig on my noggin, drive through the Friday night going-home traffic, and join others in the TG/CD community to share thoughts, opinions, and camaraderie.

Continue reading


2 Comments

My stepfather’s health scare

I want to devote this post to an emergency my family had to go through the past few days.  Last Saturday, just as I was coincidentally adding my last post to this blog, I received a voice mail message from the eldest of my two sisters.  Our stepfather was rushed to a hospital in Ohio with what was determined to be a stroke.

A small bit of background first:  My stepfather, who is in his mid-70s, has been an over-the-road truck driver in one form or another for most of his life.  It could be logs, food, corrugated cardboard:  You name it, Dad more than likely hauled it from coast to coast or border to border.  In recent years, Dad has done less of the 18-wheeler thing and more of small transport tasks, including what he had finished last Friday, transporting a large boat for winter storage.

Continue reading


Leave a comment

Why I’m thankful (or not thankful) on Thanksgiving 2017

As I write this, it’s Thanksgiving morning in the United States.  As my fellow Americans surely know by now, this is a day to meet up with family, eat copious amounts of food, watch grown men hit each other on only 3 days’ rest… and try to think of what they’re thankful for.  I’ve thought a bit about the intent of this holiday’s title, and in this post I’ve compiled some of things I’m thankful for — and a few I’m not thankful for — here in 2017.

  • I am thankful for still being employed.  Well, duh.  And while some of the work may be tedious, and while this is one of the busiest times of year for our team, at least I am doing a job I mostly enjoy using skills I’m proud to possess.
  • Despite my own employment and the fact that Madison has a pretty good climate for job prospects and growth, I am not thankful that this Thanksgiving finds some around here who, for reasons beyond their control, must go without gainful employment  Case in point:  Someone I’ve built a good friendship with this past year (more on how that came about in a little bit) was let go from her steady job last summer.  As with other unemployed people around here, I sincerely hope my friend will gain a job with a company that will appreciate her skills, her work ethic, and especially her passion for those who have less and for life in general.  (Side note to my friend:  I apologize in advance that my bringing up your plight on here may make you sad on this day, but know that I am here to respect and support you and wish you nothing but the best.)
  • I am thankful that I still live in such a wonderful, progressive, and wonderfully progressive community that is Madison.
  • I am even more thankful that I’ve had the opportunity — and the gumption — to step out as Allison into a city so welcoming.  I’ll likely bring this up again in an end-of-year post, but 2017 has been a big year for my stepping out of my wardrobe and into the world, from performing poetry to marching in a parade to attending a banquet.  These are experiences that I will never forget.
  • I am thankful for the health and happiness of my family.  I’m also thankful that we’ve grown bigger through the uniting in marriage of my youngest sister with her husband and his extended family (including his daughters).
  • I am also thankful that my four nieces are growing into wonderful young women.  One of them graduated from high school this year, and I hope she has ventured into what will be a positive future for her.  I hope, too, that my other nieces will have positive futures of their own.
  • I am not thankful that some in my family have our differences.  Those differences have been shown bare through Facebook:  My mom is among a (thankfully) few of my Facebook friends who are not above sharing a conservative-leaning meme with their friends.  At least I’m not one who uses Facebook much (at least as Male Mode Me), so I don’t have to see those irritating memes very much.  When I do, however, I’m not above using the “angry” reaction button to show my displeasure (I hope Mom and my Facebook friends get the message).
  • Needless to say, I am not thankful that our society has become more and more divided over the past year since You Know Who was elected You Know What.  Most of the previous 8 years, we didn’t have that feeling of our country being ripped apart centimeter by centimeter.  Now, in the past year, it’s as if those rips are not metaphoric and are miles in width — with the chasm being filled not by bridges but by walls.
  • Despite that, I am thankful that a great many people in this country are willing to stand up for what’s right and just, rising above the hatred and vitriol to stand for a country that should not have fear and hatred as its bedrock.
  • Above all else, I am very, very thankful to have joined and in and being a relatively active part of a transgender/crossdresser support group over the past year.  I regularly meet up with this group’s members, and they have proven to be a wonderful group.  They are ready to lend an an ear, their advice, and their support to those like me, regardless how how we identify.  (Respect for others’ differences is our group’s own bedrock.)
  • I have come to know my above mentioned friend through this TG/CD group; she is a cis-gender ally who respects and admires us for the people we are and the identity we know we are.  Friendships like this can be a rare thing for some, and I’m very glad — and very, very thankful — to have found such a friendship.

And just as I am very, very thankful for the friends I’ve built over the past year, I am very, very thankful for your readership and kind words.  Whoever you are, wherever you may be, whatever your identity, and whatever your background, here’s hoping Thanksgiving 2017 proves to be a happy time for you, and that you have your own reasons to be thankful.  Have a safe and enjoyable day.


Leave a comment

Allison’s night at Trans Monologues

Okay, okay, okay!  I know you’ve been waiting with baited breath for me to tell all about my night at the Trans Monologues event.  You haven’t?  Well, even if you haven’t, here’s where I finally talk about it.

22528594_10155433750708283_302270584737734210_o

As I mentioned previously on here, Trans Monologues is an annual event put on by the University of Wisconsin—Madison’s LGBT Campus Center.  The event, which coincides with Transgender Awareness Week, aims to be a “night of honest expression about the joys and trials of being anywhere on or off the gender-variant spectrum” (direct quote from the event’s Facebook page, where the above image appears).

Continue reading


3 Comments

Three years into this blogging thing

It’s Friday as I write this, and I have the entire day off.  A good thing, yes, since it gives me a three-day weekend.  But it’s an even better thing for me since it’s been a major bummer of a week, thanks to taking my (supposedly) sweet little car into the shop not once but twice.  The first, unplanned visit was because of a flat tire.  On my drive into work on Monday, I had to dodge a little yet quite noticeable something that the construction site across from my place of employment did not sweep up.  However, I heard a little “pop” in the back of my car.  While I had dodged what I had to dodge, I wasn’t expecting something else in the road — a nail, which I didn’t realize I had run over until my work day ended and I came back to my car.  The good news is that there was a tire place literally two doors down from my place of employment, and they were able to replace my tires and get me back on the road that night. (I say “tires” because they got me with the up-sell thing and replaced both of my rear tires, since they didn’t have a single tire in stock that matched the size of the good rear tire.)

Continue reading


1 Comment

Blah!

Okay, a real quick post for all y’all about how I’m doing.  First off, it’s all good.  I’m busy at work, and during one of the busiest times in our department.  And I’m in the midst of a five-week, one-hour-per-week volunteer commitment, which I’ll pick up again tomorrow afternoon.

However (and you were sensing a “but” coming on, weren’t you?), all isn’t fun because… well, for the 2nd time in a month, I’m fighting off a rough cold (hence the title of this post).  Last month, a day after attending the OutReach Awards Banquet and while taking part in my trans group’s support meeting, I suddenly got a nasty sore throat.  Later that evening back home, I started getting the aches and stuffiness, which led to a not-so-restful sleep that night, what with waking up every couple of hours with aches and stuffiness.  It was so bad that I scrubbed my usual Sunday morning plans to head to the gym, rather just taking a mid-morning catnap.

Continue reading


Leave a comment

Allison’s dream wedding

A question for the single people out there:  How many of you have imagined getting married?  No, I don’t mean being married and actually saying of “I do” with the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.  No, I’m talking about the flowers, the fancy formal wear, the reception, the dancing… you know, the getting married part.  Or, rather, the wedding part of getting married.  Perhaps many of you, at least once in your lifetime, have thought about how you would want your wedding to take place.  I admit I have as well, and those thoughts percolated back to the top of my mind during my recent experiences at my youngest sister’s recent wedding (the subject of my last post).

Continue reading


1 Comment

Allison’s enjoys a wedding but stays the wallflower

Before I let it drift back into the farthest reaches of my memory, I should tell you about a little get-together I had with my family at the end of September.  And not just any run-of-the-mill get-together, mind you.  Yeah, as if you couldn’t tell from the title of this post, it was the occasion of my little sister’s wedding.  Little Sis and her fiance, after being boyfriend and girlfriend for several years, then becoming an engaged couple, and eventually buying a house together (and, wow, what a house), formally tied the knot in a ceremony three weeks ago this weekend.

Continue reading


1 Comment

Random stuff (10/15/2017 edition)

Just a couple quick thoughts to share on this Sunday afternoon.  First, as I noted in my post from Friday morning, I did indeed stay away completely from Twitter all day Friday. I did so as a show of support to the “#WomenBoycottTwitter” protest meant to highlight Twitter’s inequities in applying discipline in matters of harassment and safety among its users, especially in situations where women on Twitter were being harassed and Twitter did little or nothing to punish the misogynistic men that freely hurled the abuse.

So, how did it feel, you’re asking?  For me, of course, it felt somewhat liberating to be away from the 140-character universe.  Rather than read and scroll ad infinitum through my Twitter timeline (both my female and male accounts), instead I checked out my Facebook accounts.  Since joining Facebook this year, I’ve been rather conservative in my use of that platform (i.e. usually visiting it once or twice a day).  But on Friday, Facebook served as a nice substitute.  So did, Instagram, which Male Mode Me has an account on.  The nice thing about Instagram is that it lets the pictures do the talking, and just like one of those fidget spinners (the big fad of 2017), the photos can be so soothing, especially when it’s a nature or broad landscape photo.  Ahhh…

Continue reading