Allison M.

A crossdresser's thoughts on life, fashion, fabulousness, and… oh yeah, dressing up!


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Straightening up… in between curve balls

Time was that I had one of those big tower-like personal computers, complete with an equally big monitor and an even bigger computer desk.  Having a PC helped me do my personal work and connect with the world wide web, both in male and female mode.  But it also meant having to stay inside the extra bedroom where the PC and desk were located.

But a few years ago, I won a laptop computer at a charity raffle.  Oh, what sweet joy of doing work and going online while not being tethered by massive hardware.  I mean, it’s hard to carry a whole PC and keyboard and monitor with you from spot to spot.

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Allison’s work-at-home advice

I’ll start this post with a personal update:  Had this world gone not as much off the rails, I would have been 8 weeks into a brand new (non-temporary) job, working at a new company and in a new office that’s a shorter drive from where I live.

But live never goes the way you’d expect it to, thanks to things beyond your control… or that of your new employer.  One week before I was supposed to start that new job, they let me know they’d have to delay my start by one month.  It would be delayed by another month not soon after.  And just as I had feared, last week I learned they would delay my start a third time.  So, instead of entering a (hopefully) exciting opportunity next week, I will have to wait until the last week of July to join on.

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Mothers’ Day 2020

I had been planning to write either a poem or a work-related post here.  But I’ll just push those aside and acknowledge the fact that today (May 10) is Mother’s Day.  With all that’s going on, this Mother’s Day feels more peculiar to some than in years past.  Oh, I’ve already given my mother and sisters well wishes via text and phone.  But it seems incomplete in that I didn’t get the chance to purchase and send them cards for the occasion.  Call me old fashioned, if you must, in regards to the cards, but Male Mode Me thinks Hallmark says it better than I could.

The medical circumstances surrounding Mother’s Day 2020 reminds me that there are others who will, sadly, not get the chance to wish their mothers a happy day today.  An online friend of mine (I’ll keep their identity private here) lost their mother to illness in the past year.  While I’m sure this will be a heavy day for them, I hope that the unconditional love their mom gave them while on this earth will continue in their heart and mind for as long as they may live.

Yes, wishing the women who brought us into this world is an obvious thing to do today.  And, no, many of us won’t get to give them those wishes.  But here’s hoping that we can still recognize the other “mother figures” who have influenced and/or supported us:

They could be a stepmother or grandmother or other blood relative…

They could be the friendly neighbor or guiding babysitter…

They could also be our favorite school teacher from school…

They could be the drag mother (yes, they do qualify here) who takes the up-and-coming performer under their wing…

Or they could just be someone who presents the feminine identity online they may not get to do in the real world, but they won’t hesitate to provide advice or support to those who were as nervous as they were identity-wise when they started out…

Whatever the case, never forget the many mothers out there, and the many mothers in your own lives, whether they’re one or many, living or deceased.  Take the time to think about them and perhaps give them an appreciative word and the best of Mother’s Day wishes today.


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Male Mode Me shaves his head

You’re probably aware that during this virus situation, there have been a lot of issues regarding “essential businesses,” defined as those places that provide vital services to the community and can stay open with precautions.  Businesses such as pharmacies and supermarkets fit the definition of an essential business because, well, people need food for sustenance and prescriptions for their health.

Outside of those two places, those that are essential businesses can vary depending on their services and region.  A pet food store can qualify, but would a pet grooming service?  A laundromat would also get a free pass, but would a dry cleaning service?

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Waiting and wondering… and wanting

If you’ve read most of the posts I’ve written the past month and a half, you’ve noticed they’ve been mostly about the need and want to shelter in place.  By now, you’re probably wondering if I’ve also had the need and want to put aside the fears of the outside world and bring Allison out to play.  Well, unfortunately, my female side has been laying low quite a bit.

Mind you, it’s not like my femme side has been sheltering inside a closet several miles underground.  I have dressed up very briefly on a couple of weekend occasions.  More frequent than that, I’ve been donning a wig and cute top and joined online meetings of the CD/TG support group I frequent.  It’s not the same as being in the same room with them, but it’s a nice way to remind myself that we’re all having the same concerns of late.

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Allison stays put

A common lament I’ve heard from those who are sheltering in place during this unfortunate time is that the days seem to combine into a blur.  Their normal routines of going to work every Monday thru Friday and spending Saturdays and Sundays either at home or out and about have been thrown out the window.  Now, it feels as if every single day starts out, proceeds, and ends in the very same way, and that the most major of trips goes from the bedroom to the kitchen.

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Allison Remembers How to Drive! (or Trying to Shop for Groceries While On Lockown)

Okay, show of hands:  How many of you have seen your lives changed or impacted in one way or another by the virus situation we’re all going through?  All of you?!  Well, that shouldn’t be surprising when you consider the gravity of the moment.  For me, the changes have included not needing to shave my face every work day, letting my male-mode hair grow too long, shaving that same male-mode hair down to the scalp (not a pretty picture at all)… and the two biggest changes for me, not working in an office (for the next few weeks at least) and shopping for groceries online.

Both of those last two life aspects, for me at least, involved one other thing that, once someone learns it, can be as normal as tying a shoelace:  Driving a car.  As mentioned previously, my current work assignment initially found me taking a long drive (10 miles and 25 minutes one way) to and from work every day.  And from the beginning of February through mid-March, it was in the comfy confines of a new car.  Well, not a 2020 model year, but you get the idea.

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Random personal stuff (4/8/2020 edition)

I’m in the fourth week of my personal lockdown, and for just a little while I gave myself a hall pass.  I’ll talk about that in a moment, but I first must mention the fact that here in Wisconsin, we had an election yesterday.  Perhaps you heard the news and thought to yourself, “Is that state crazy?  Do they really want to make people sick?”  Well, our state’s governor thought it was a bad idea, and late Monday he issued an executive order postponing the election until June.

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Constant contact

I had intended to add this topic to my most recent post, but I felt it was something that needed to be highlighted in its own entry.  A question for all of you first:  In this historic, frightening, and historically frightening time, how much have you been in recent contact with the friends and family you love and support?  It’s an important question, really.  I mean, we as humans thrive on connections of one sort or another, be it familial or neighborly, business acquaintance or friendship, a few inches apart in distance (not feasible at this moment) or a thousand miles away.

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