Allison M.

Thoughts on life, fashion, fabulousness, and (oh yeah) dressing up from a full-time male who's a part-time female


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Allison clears bookmarks about an LGBT center somewhere

Please don’t let the title of this post make you think I’ve become blasé about the opening of a center dedicated to those who identify as part of the LGBT community.  That’s not the case, for any office or center, large or small, that’s dedicated to providing support, resources, or just a conversation place to our community is a vitally important thing to have, wherever it may be.  Now more than ever, it seems that these centers and the resources they can provide are important, even as our community has made great strides towards rights and acceptance.

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Rants about lack of LGBT respect

Yeah, I was angry last Thursday.  And not because I heard about how lawmakers in North Carolina repealed that infamous “Bathroom Law” law that not only required transgender people in government and public buildings to use the restrooms that goes with the gender on their birth certificate, but also prevented local municipalities (like, say, Charlotte) to enact anti-discrimination policies — which, in turn, led to North Carolina losing a lot of lucrative business (like, say, college sports championships).

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A poem: “I See You”

Today (March 31) is the International Transgender Day of Visibility, which is a day meant to celebrate those who identify as transgender and to help raise awareness of discrimination faced by trans people everywhere.  (It should not be conflated with the Transgender Day of Remembrance, which occurs in November.)

I won’t get too much into the ins and outs of TDoV in this post, though I do recommend you learn more about the day (here is a good starting point).  What I do want to do is dedicate a few lines of prose (and passing references towards David Bowie and J. Geils Band) to this day and to trans people of all stripes, especially those who, by circumstance or choice, may not live out and proud.  While this prose may not be perfect, know that the words are meant to communicate my appreciation for you, whatever you may identify as.

“I See You”

I see you over there
Sitting all alone and scared
You’re not sure if you’re a boy or a girl
And it’s got your mother in a whirl

The world wants to put you down
And make you frown
They’re misguided for insisting you’re one thing
When you know you’re not what they’re saying

They want you to wear one set of clothes
A set in which you’ll never grow
For that, they think you’re an abomination
But, really, you’re an amazing creation

I know, they want to put you down
To keep you from wiping off your frown
You know you’re one thing
When everyone says you’re another
But to me, you’re more than a sister or a brother

No, really, you’re beautiful
Just the way you are
So don’t be afraid
Shine your own kind of light
Fight their darkness with your personality bright

Oh, I’m sorry
You don’t want to come out?
You do want to be the person you are
But you don’t want to scream or shout?

It’s okay, I understand
I have my own four-walled Neverland
Where I can feel free
And be who I know I be
Which is whatever gender I can be

But you want to be quiet about it
And, really, that’s okay
For it’s good, even better
To be more than whatever gender

But I do wish you can be free
You deserve to be who you know you be
Free from prying eyes
Free from disdaining eyes

Wait…  Please, wait…
Yes, I see you
And I do accept you
For you being you

No, it doesn’t matter to me
What gender you may be
Male or female
Maybe both, maybe neither

Know, though, that I admire you
And I will stand by you and with you
And help protect you
And keep the wolves at bay
No matter what the world may say
I’ll have your back until my last day

So go and be the real you
Do what you feel you can do
Whether you’re trans or non-binary
Or third gender or even spirit two

Fully displayed or in the closet
Know that you’re living honest

But if you’re not out now, don’t worry
For if the time comes when
You show the world who you are
There will be those who will call you friend

There will be those just like you
Or supportive and accepting of you
Who will have your back if you fall
And help you stand up and stand tall

I will be there with you
For today, I see you
And I love and respect you
Because no matter who you are
And no matter what others will say of you
You are living your life… amazingly
Just by being… you


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Random stuff (3/14/2017 edition)

Now that my computer and browser are behaving (for now), I wanted to share a link to a great story in the news.  Earlier this year, the comedian/actor Colin Mochrie revealed to the world that he had a transgender daughter.  Kinley Mochrie is her name, and she came out as transgender to her family last year.

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On strike in spirit

An open letter to my supervisor at work (I know who they are, and by the end of this post, you, in a way, will know her as well):

Dear Boss:

First off, thank you for the annual bonus.  I know everyone in our company receives one every year, and I know the money will give my bank account a boost.  But this letter isn’t about that.  I should advise you that though I will be at work tomorrow (March 8), my mind won’t be.  Why, you ask?

Day Without a Woman banner

That’s right, I’m sure you’ve heard about A Day Without a Woman by now.  I’m sure, too, you’ve heard about that big march that happened back in January, not only here in Madison but in Washington and around the world. Continue reading


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Oh, to be at Miss Vera’s

If you are a crossdresser like me, or are at the very least familiar with the transgender community, you are probably familiar with, or at least heard a little bit about, the name I included in this post’s title:

miss-veras-banner

Header image for the website of Miss Vera’s Finishing School

Yep, Miss Vera.  As in Miss Vera’s Finishing School For Boys Who Want To Be Girls, which bills itself as “the world’s first crossdressing academy.”  Since the early 1990s, Miss Vera (and, yes, she does have a first name, Veronica, though the title “Miss Vera” gives her so much class) has opened the doors of her New York City apartment to any man who wants to become better at being a female.  Whether someone just wants to look a little more feminine or wants to be all-out perfect, Miss Vera and her faculty have been there to instruct and guide any student who’s a crossdresser, transgender, or even cis-gender female into being the best woman they can be through instructions on makeup, hair, clothing, voice, mannerisms, and general feminine comportment.  And, yes, it’s all done in a supportive, compassionate environment.

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Over a month into “winter”

You may have noticed I’ve set the words “winter” in quotes in this post’s title.  Yes, it’s technically been winter in the Northern Hemisphere since December and not just one month (this past warm week in Wisconsin notwithstanding).  But I think we all know the “winter” I’m talking about:

As I write this (February 25), it’s been a month and a few days since You Know Who became You Know What.  And while there are some who, unfortunately, are enjoying what has transpired over this time (including one fellow Wisconsinite I heard on NPR this week who almost made me want to reach into the radio and whoop them upside the head over their glee), there are countless others like me — you know, the ones who were in the real majority last November — who are so diametrically opposite of You Know Who who have been upset to their core, along with (hopefully) those who are having a bit of buyer’s remorse.

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Who to meet? Where to go?

I want to devote this quick post to a comment a reader left on a couple of my posts this week.  I did not approve their comments as I thought the comments section wasn’t an appropriate place to address their pretty good inquiry.  Luckily, I’m one to think long and hard about their questions can devote a new post to the answers.

I won’t single out this person by name or gender, but I will describe what they said they were:  They are into crossdressing; they had recently relocated to the Madison, Wisconsin area; and they were inquiring about crossdresser-friendly social groups and organizations in Madison.  They also asked about any places in Madison where a crossdresser would be socially accepted.

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A poem: “The Great Unknown”

Well, tomorrow (January 20), you know who will ascend to you know what.  Oh, don’t deny you don’t know who I’m referring to; we all know what’s been going down the past 2+ months and what will go down tomorrow.  It has been and will be an earth-shattering adjustment we’ll all have to deal with.

If there’s one word that’s been running through my mind the past couple of months, it’s “uncertainty.”  We know there will be damage done over the next 4 years; we just don’t know what kind of damage, nor do we know how much or how severe it will be.

I think it’s human nature for uncertainty to plague a person’s mind.  I think it’s also natural to give uncertainty a physical, or at least visual, representation.

“The Great Unknown”

I enjoyed these years of warmth
I loved being bathed in all this happiness
I wish I could enjoy it more
But I can’t

It’s not that I don’t want to stay out here
And enjoy more of this warmth
It’s just that I have to go inside
Where it’s very cold
And foreboding
And threatening
And… uh…

Honestly, I can’t see what’s in there
But I’ve heard of what awaits me:
Disdain
Misogyny
Prejudice
Absolute hate
Hate towards me
Hate towards others like me
All because we’re not like them
The “them” that await inside

No, I can’t see what’s inside
But I know for sure what’s inside
And it’s what I see in front of me:
Darkness
Darkness upon Darkness
Absolute, unadulterated darkness
Darkness we can’t see with our eyes

I am afraid
I am truly afraid
Afraid of how this darkness will hurt me
And how it will hurt others like me
For this darkness is just waiting to attack us
And destroy us
Until it’s victorious
And sees nothing that “threatens” them

I know, I know
I must go into this darkness
But I can’t go
At least not without you
You are just like me
Or at least supportive of me
As I am supportive of you
So take my hand
Please, take my hand
We can’t survive alone
In this dark, dark Great Unknown
But I know we’ll be stronger
And make it through much better
If we go in there together


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#TBT: How I first heard of the word “crossdresser”

“Skip!  Skip!  Can you maybe make it next week?  I hate to miss Brian’s birthday; and Friday, the transvestites are back on Donahue.”
– the title character, speaking to one of his alien brethren in a 1986 episode of ALF

I want to start this post with the definition of “crossdressing,” as found here:  “the act of wearing items of clothing and other accoutrements commonly associated with the opposite sex within a particular society.”

Why do I use that word?  Well, I first started dressing in women’s clothing back when I was 11 years old going on 12.  Even back then, I knew that putting on women’s undergarments or anything else feminine was considered taboo and against societal (and more immediately, familial) norms.  But while I knew the definition at the time, I didn’t know of the word.  To me, it was nothing more than “putting on clothing that belonged to my mom or my sister or, before that, what was found in that spare bedroom where we lived.”

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