“So, describe a little bit about yourself to the world, if you please.”
Hmmm…. describe a little bit about myself… Um, uh….
That’s always been the hardest thing for me, describing a little bit about myself. Not that there isn’t anything to describe; it’s just that I’ve always found it hard to describe myself without hemming and hawing and stammering and thinking of what to say (even if what I want to say should be old hat). I suppose it’s the shy awkwardness I’ve had since I was a youth that leads to the difficulties. But since this post is serving as an introduction to myself, and since this isn’t an in-person spoken word conversation, I gotta dive right in and tell you who I am. Okay, here goes:
My name is Allison. Well, at least that’s the name I use to refer to myself in a feminine persona. You see, Allison is not my birth name, nor was I born female all those many years ago or live as a female. I am a man who every now and again likes to dress up as a woman (“crossdresser” is an appropriate descriptive). You probably guessed that already from the heading at the top of this site, but I feel the need to say that to help identify what I am.
Now, when I say I dress as a woman “every now and again,” that’s exactly what it means: I only dress as a woman occasionally, and I mainly limit it to dressing up and taking photos in private, where my level of comfort and confidence are much higher (and I don’t regard myself as too passable, yet). That being said, however, I have occasionally and discreetly ventured out in in public en femme; it’s an amazing feeling.
What do I like to dress up in? Well, basically I’ll dress up in anything a woman might wear, which could be anything from a t-shirt and jeans to a dress and blouse to the sleekest of outfits. Oh, and wigs (my male mode hair is, well, male mode). In short, if it’s good looking and affordable, then I’ll buy it… or at least want to buy it. Though my outfits may sometimes be on the daring side, I’m not a fan of the, ahem, X-rated world; if you think my mind ventures into that territory, you’re sadly mistaken.
As you may have guessed, I love thinking about fashion and femininity:
- I love checking out clothing and fashions through online stores, blogs, and photos, or at the mall (heck, just walking past the store windows can be a thrill).
- I am an admirer of my fellow crossdressers and those who work as drag performers (or “gender illusionists” if you prefer another term); the little ways we use to blur the gender lines are so amazing.
- I also respect those who are on the brave journey to full-time lives as the gender they know they are (be they male-to-female or female-to-male); you are very brave souls, and you have my utmost admiration and support.
Presenting Allison to the online world has been a rewarding thrill. I have found great connections on Twitter as well as through my Flickr and URNotAlone profiles, be they connections with fellow crossdressers, my transgender friends, those in the LGBT community as a whole, and even cisgender people who are supportive and don’t mind conversing with a guy who wears a dress. (Acceptance: How cool is that?) While I have visual displays of my femininity and continue to have quick online conversations, I’ve wanted to have deeper conversations and expressions of my feminine life online. Such deep expressions can be hard to do in 140 characters or less, and I’ve had some troubles keeping up with online journals (sites where I’ve blogged or kept journals have either shut down or haven’t saved new entries due to unforseen circumstances I could not control [no, I’m not naming sites]). So, with the suggestion and advice of one of my Twitter friends, I’ve established this WordPress blog. Here, I hope to talk about my thoughts, feelings, and experiences about dressing up, fashion, and my life in general (I do have a life outside my wardrobe, you know). Some of these thoughts have been expressed in other journals, but I’ll add these and newer entries here to help foster further conversation, discussion, and support, and to build connections. Though I cannot promise or guarantee a regular entry schedule, I’ll be on here every now and again to add my stories.
So, if you want to say “hello,” either here or elsewhere online, by all means, please do. And if you leave a kind compliment or word of advice, I’ll go all schoolgirly on you (“OMG!OMG!”) Thanks! xoxoxo