Allison M.

A crossdresser's thoughts on life, fashion, fabulousness, and (oh yeah) dressing up


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One very busy birthday girl

As you can tell from the starry pink banner and this post’s title, today (August 3) is my 48th birthday.  As has been the case in most of my adulthood, this day will be your normal everyday kind of day:  Work, work, work.  Maybe a card or a text from family (I already received one from Mom earlier this week).  Already a few birthday wishes added to my URNotAlone profile’s guestbook (a big “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” banner is added to members’ profiles when it’s their birthday).  And perhaps a little bit of relaxation when I finally get home.

I say “when I finally get home” as I’ve been a rather busy girl of late, especially with putting my nose to the proverbial grindstone at work.  And I’ll be pretty busy the rest of this month as well.  Here in Madison, a small, trans-oriented art and performance exhibition is scheduled for the last weekend of this month.  I’ve become so enamored of late by presenting my poetry and storytelling before live audiences (and doing so as Allison), which propelled me to submit my poems for consideration to this event.  If they approve, I’ll get all dolled up and step up to the microphone before my fellow trans sisters and brothers for the first time (hope it won’t be a tough crowd).

A weekend before that, Madison will have its annual LGBT pride event.  And the trans support group I’ve been attending will have an entry in the parade.  All of our “T’s” and “I’s” need to be crossed and dotted yet, but I can’t wait for Madison to see us.  What’s more, I’m hoping to march with my group as Allison for the very first time.  I’m so excited.

And this very weekend will be the 30-year reunion of my high school graduating class.  Am I nervous about it?  A little bit, as I wonder how much time, adulthood, and our current society have changed my fellow Class of 1987 graduates.  The reunion came, for me at least, on rather short notice, so I’m not sure how many of my class will be able to attend.  Still, I’m actually looking forward to the event… even though I’ve never been the party girl-type, nor did I socialize very much in high school.  Plus, it’ll be interesting to see how much our home town, a rather small Northern Wisconsin hamlet, has changed (for better and for worse) in the 5 years since our previous reunion.

So, yeah, not a lot of time for me to celebrate turning 48.  But as I noted above, I’ve gotten used to the 3rd day of August feeling like any of the other 364 days of the year, and that’s okay.  But know that if you wish me a happy birthday, I’ll send gratitude and thanks your way.  Hope you have your own very nice day.


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My various definitions of “pride”

Time to get caught up with another of F.C.’s “June Jour” suggestions.  This one asks flat-out, “What does the word ‘pride’ mean to you?”  Hmmm…

As you can guess from the end of that last paragraph, I have to scratch my head sometimes to come up of a time when I’ve experienced a sense of pride (what F.C. also asks in that prompt).  Perhaps the times when I’ve felt the most proud of myself have been when I made a significant accomplishment.  Graduating from high school so many years ago is the most obvious moment of pride in my life… although that was tempered a bit by the future that would await me.  Oh, I knew what my post-high school plans were; it’s just that I was scared to death of it (the less I have to think about what awaited me, the better).  Then there’s the times when I worked toward gainful employment, especially the moment when I was offered the job that led me to moving to Madison, this after several months being jobless.

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When I could’ve but didn’t dress up

I want to tell you about what I did — and didn’t — do this past Thursday night.  First off, what I did do was attend a little get-together that raised funds for the LGBT pride parade in Madison this August.  It was a rather simple party, with just under a couple dozen supporters and Board of Directors membership of Madison’s LGBT community center, held in the home and garden of one of the center’s longtime supporters in one of Madison’s more cozier and aesthetically pleasing neighborhoods (lots of shade trees, narrow and winding streets, beautifully manicured yards).

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Thoughts on Pulse, one year later

I had started work on another post about a different subject this morning, but the significance of this particular day (June 12) has ordered me to take a different direction tonight.  Today is, of course, the one-year anniversary of the tragedy at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida, in which 49 lovely lives were cut short in horrific fashion.

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A letter to my state legislators

I made passing mention in my last blog post about this, but it’s time to finally give it the spotlight here:  Last Thursday morning (June 1), three members of the Wisconsin State Legislature introduced to assembled media and the public a new piece of legislation currently seeking co-sponsorship from fellow legislators.  The proposal, as with any piece of legislation (federal, state, or otherwise), has a grand name:  The Privacy Protection and Gender Identity Anti-Discrimination Act.  And a press release announcing the proposal succinctly sums up the bill’s importance:

“A bill that would add protections to Wisconsin statutes against discrimination based on a person’s gender identity or gender expression.”

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Random stuff (6/3/2017 edition)

whitakers

Ash Whitaker and his mom (image source: Associated Press)

If you saw some of my retweets on Twitter a couple of days ago, you learned that there was a significant bill introduced in Wisconsin’s state legislature that, if it becomes law, would prohibit discrimination based on one’s gender identity or expression.  I’m trying to formulate a post devoted solely to that piece of legislation (which you can learn about here).  But in the meantime, I want to highlight a couple of interesting LGBT-related items.

The first was another piece of big Wisconsin news this week involving Ash Whitaker, a student at Kenosha’s Tremper High School who received disrespect from the administration of both the school and the school district just because he is transgender.  Originally, Ash made news for wanting to run for prom king, but was rebuffed by Tremper High officials who dictated that he run for prom queen or be dropped from consideration for prom court altogether.  The school relented, allowing anyone who qualified for prom court to run for prom king or prom queen, whichever one matched the gender they identified as.

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Extended thoughts about a LGBT center somewhere

My previous post, which you can read here, had me talking about a place of higher learning not too far from my old neck of the (literal) woods establishing a LGBT resource and support center.  After I added it to this blog, I couldn’t help but think about it further…

First off, I can’t say enough how great it is for the University of Wisconsin—Marinette to establish a LGBT center.  I’m happy, of course, that it’s happening in the area where I spent the later years of my adolescence.  More than that, though, I’m happy for those in Marinette and vicinity who identify as part of the LGBT spectrum or are LGBT allies, for they finally — finally! — have somewhere where they can find resources; obtain information on healthcare, transitioning, support, etc.; or just find a safe, welcoming place where they will not be judged for who they identify as or who they may be attracted to.

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Allison clears bookmarks about an LGBT center somewhere

Please don’t let the title of this post make you think I’ve become blasé about the opening of a center dedicated to those who identify as part of the LGBT community.  That’s not the case, for any office or center, large or small, that’s dedicated to providing support, resources, or just a conversation place to our community is a vitally important thing to have, wherever it may be.  Now more than ever, it seems that these centers and the resources they can provide are important, even as our community has made great strides towards rights and acceptance.

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Rants about lack of LGBT respect

Yeah, I was angry last Thursday.  And not because I heard about how lawmakers in North Carolina repealed that infamous “Bathroom Law” law that not only required transgender people in government and public buildings to use the restrooms that goes with the gender on their birth certificate, but also prevented local municipalities (like, say, Charlotte) to enact anti-discrimination policies — which, in turn, led to North Carolina losing a lot of lucrative business (like, say, college sports championships).

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A poem: “I See You”

Today (March 31) is the International Transgender Day of Visibility, which is a day meant to celebrate those who identify as transgender and to help raise awareness of discrimination faced by trans people everywhere.  (It should not be conflated with the Transgender Day of Remembrance, which occurs in November and is more solemn.)

I won’t get too much into the ins and outs of TDoV in this post, though I do recommend you learn more about the day (here is a good starting point).  What I do want to do is dedicate a few lines of prose (and passing references of David Bowie and J. Geils Band) to this day and to trans people of all stripes, especially those who, by circumstance or choice, may not live out and proud.  While this prose may not be perfect, know that the words are meant to communicate my appreciation for you, whichever part of the spectrum you identify under.

“I See You”

I see you over there
Sitting all alone and scared
You’re not sure if you’re a boy or a girl
And it’s got your mother in a whirl

The world wants to put you down
And make you frown
They’re misguided for insisting that you’re one thing
When you know you’re not what they’re saying

They want you to wear one set of clothes
But it’s a set in which you’ll never grow
Because of that, they think you’re an abomination
But, really, you’re an amazing creation

I know, they want to put you down
To keep you from wiping off your frown
You know you’re one thing
When everyone says you’re another
But to me, you’re more than a sister or a brother

No, really, you’re beautiful
Just the way you are
So don’t be afraid
Shine your own kind of light
Fight their darkness with your personality bright

Oh, I’m sorry
You don’t want to come out?
You do want to be the person you are
But you don’t want to scream or shout?

It’s okay, I understand
I have my own four-walled Neverland
Where I can feel free
And be who I know I be
Which is whatever gender I can be

But you want to be quiet about it
And, really, that’s okay
For it’s good, even better
To be more than whatever gender

But I do wish you can be free
You deserve to be who you know you be
Free from prying eyes
Free from disdaining eyes

Wait…  Please, wait…
Yes, I see you
And I do accept you
For you being you

No, it doesn’t matter to me
What gender you may be
Male or female
Maybe both, maybe neither

Know, though, that I admire you
And I will stand by you and with you
And help protect you
And help keep the wolves at bay
No matter what the world may say
I’ll have your back until my last day

So go and be the real you
Do what you feel you can do
Whether you’re trans or non-binary
Or third gender or even spirit two

Fully displayed or in the closet
Know that you’re living honest

But if you’re not out now, don’t worry
For if the time comes when
You show the world who you are
There will be those who will call you friend

There will be those just like you
Or supportive and accepting of you
Who will have your back if you fall
And help you stand up and stand tall

I will be there with you
For today, I see you
And I love and respect you
Because no matter who you are
And no matter what others believe what you are
You are living your life… amazingly
Just by being… you