Allison M.

A crossdresser's thoughts on life, fashion, fabulousness, and (oh yeah) dressing up

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Allison’s Word: “Whoa”

I should warn you that this edition of “Allison’s Word” will be a bit of a downer.  Before getting into the subject matter, though, I want to briefly note that I went before a fancy camera again last Sunday.  Yep, there was another LGBT-oriented photo event here in Madison, and I got all dolled up, put on my best wig (well, as best as that best wig could get anyway), and became acquainted or reacquainted with fellow people from Madison’s LGBT+ community.  Oh, yes, and I posed for new photos.  I can’t wait to see how the pics turned out, and when I order and receive my selected final shots, I’ll definitely share them with you.

Now, on to what I wanted to talk about here, and the word I want to highlight:


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A quick thought or two on International Women’s Day

I hadn’t been planning to write a blog post tonight, but the significance of today is too important to ignore.  So, here goes, and forgive me if the thoughts I want to communicate don’t come out perfect:  Today (March 8) is International Women’s Day.  Basically, this is a date to commemorate the progress women have made throughout the world, honor the women who pushed for that progress, and recognize the progress that still needs to be gained to ensure that women worldwide have equal rights and opportunities.

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Letting in some light

My previous post recounted the first part of my busy weekend performing poetry at Mother Fool’s.  Here, I want to talk about something from the second half of same weekend, after the trans/CD support group I regularly attend held their meeting.  Several of us gathered at a pizza place located, ironically enough, kitty corner from Mother Fool’s.  Among our group was a cis-gender ally who was there with her partner.  The conversation between the two of us ventured into where we had previously lived and worked, and it raised familiar territory for me:  She noted that she used to work in the Green Bay area at… let’s just say it’s a certain company that’s part of a certain industry we’ll need to rely on at least once in our lives.  I mentioned to her matter-of-factly that I used to live in Green Bay as well… and I used to work at that very same company, around the same time she had been there. (We worked in separate offices and different departments, natch.)

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Another enjoyable poetry performance

It’s Sunday afternoon as I write this, and instead of going to the gym or running errands as I usually do on a Sunday, I’m just relaxing and doing an odd job or two around the house.  And, of course, writing this blog entry.  The reason I’m relaxing is because the past 48 hours or so have been pretty busy for my feminine side.  The CD/trans support group I’m a part of had a Saturday afternoon meeting.  And Friday night, I took part in what I want to talk up here — another open-mic poetry reading Friday night at Mother Fool’s coffee house on Williamson Street.

3-2-2018 841-14pm

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When a playful side comes out

Slightly risque and not quite perfect in leather

Just a quick thought to share.  And, yes, this photo looks familiar.  It’s one of the pictures I shared in my previous post, during which I recounted my day posing for Caitlin at Smoketree Photography (gotta give credit where credit is due).  When I posted this photo to Flickr, I added an aside I want to expand on a little bit here.  One of the outtakes from my session with Caitlin was of me having a little bit of playful fun with the traffic driving past our shooting location.  I gave the traffic a playful waive of the hand, as if to say, “Well, hello there, good looking.”

One thing’s for sure:  Male Mode Me would never do something as playful as that.

If you’ve ever put on a costume for Halloween, perhaps you notice that your personality changes a little bit.  Your inhibitions start to loosen up, and you go from someone who’s rather reserved to one who is more outgoing than usual.  The happy feelings you exude rub off on everyone around you; that joy and happiness spreads quickly.  It’s almost as if a light switch in your mind is flicked from “off” to “on,” doesn’t it?

Every time I get dressed up, be it for venturing out or just staying inside, I notice a clear change in my personality.  Male Mode Me and his straitlaced, reserved personality “steps out of sight” for a bit.  In his place steps Allison, ready to brighten everyone’s day and offer a little bit of playfulness for the mirror, a camera, or a stranger passing by.

For sure, I am definitely more confident and outgoing when dressed up as Allison, which isn’t always how Male Mode Me appears to be.  Methinks Male Mode Me could stand to learn a lesson or two from Allison.

For my fellow crossdressers out there:  When you shed those male mode clothes and step into your favorite skirt or dress, do you tend to notice a more playful, more outgoing, more confident version of yourself making their presence known?

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Random thoughts (2/11/2018 edition)

A couple of quick thoughts on this Sunday afternoon.  First, I had mentioned in my last post about a bill in the Wisconsin State Assembly that would prevent local municipalities in the state (cities, counties, townships, etc.) from enacting and enforcing anti-discriminatory employment regulations and protections.  A State Assembly committee had a hearing on the measure Wednesday afternoon.  And from what I recall hearing Friday night at the trans/CD support group I regularly attend, there is a little bit of good news on the matter.  Apparently, there were quite a bit of comments made in the hearing against the bill.  And it may have made an influence on the conservative powers-that-be in the committee, who hinted they had no plans to send the bill to a full vote by the Assembly.  That’s good, for it’s a piece of legislation that can potentially do a lot of harm to several groups of workers, including those who are trans or gender non-conforming.  Needless to say, the Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce is against the Assembly bill (as well as a similar measure in the State Senate), comparing it to the controversial HB2 measure in North Carolina, which was one of the most anti-LGBT ordinances in the United States.

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A bad proposal

Okay, I’m about to get serious.  I’ve always admired how Wisconsin has, generally, had a history of progressive treatment of citizens who are part of diverse groups.  A prime example of this was the 1982 legislation that prohibited discrimination in fields such as housing and public and private employment based on a person’s sexual orientation.  That law had bipartisan support and was signed into law by a Republican governor who was fiscally conservative yet progressive on social/cultural issues.

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A poem: “Show Me”

The other day, I heard a great quote uttered during a Martin Luther King Jr. Day celebration here in Wisconsin.  Unfortunately, I don’t recall the speaker or the full quote.  However, I do recall it being a “show me this and I’ll show you that” kind of quote, one where two people see the same thing but see it very different… like, say, one person seeing the glass as half-empty and the other seeing it as half-full.

The “show me… and I’ll show you…” portion of that quote stuck with me the rest of the holiday, and it inspired me to write… and rewrite… and rewrite (as I usually do) the following poem.  As you’ll read (and especially notice in the last stanza), I’m not afraid to call out someone who is dismissive of those who do not live the same “pure” life they profess to live.  What’s for sure, the holier-than-thou set aren’t saints themselves, no matter how much they proselytize with their “holy book” of choice.

“Show Me”

Show me fields that have long been fallow
Overgrown with unsightly weeds
I’ll show you land that can spring to life
With someone’s ideas and dreams

Show me an artist’s canvas or a poet’s notebook
That are still blank and untouched
I’ll show you space that can be
The ground spring of a masterpiece

Show me someone immature and unruly
And I’ll show you a bright mind
That, if molded the right way
Will grow the fruits of their full potential

Show me someone not following the rules
And I’ll show you someone living free
Show me someone who doesn’t respect others
And I’ll show you someone who lets others be

Show me who should stay in a gilded cage
That with iron and lock and key you construct
And I’ll show you someone yearning to soar
To heights that will leave you awestruck

Show me someone who you prefer to stay quiet
And I’ll show you a person ready to roar
I’ll also show you someone ready to rebuild
If you only see someone you have no hope for

Show me someone who’s immoral
And I’ll show you someone on the straight and narrow
Show me someone that should conform
And I’ll show you someone who’s blazing their own trail

Show me someone whose existence you deny
And I’ll show you someone who needs to thrive
Even though caring for them is what you’re sworn to do
Would your “conscience” be quick to shun them…
And not care for them…
And seal their doom…
Just because they’re not like you?

Show me someone who’s only a gender
Or a skin color
Or a religion
Or an age
Or a behavior
Or “less” than you
And I’ll show you someone more than a label
For they’re much more than your closed mind
Forbids your open eyes to see

You think you see the scourges of the earth
But I see someone who can clear those fields
And plow those lands
And construct those buildings
And write those sonnets
And paint those masterpieces
And mold those minds
And help build a future
That will benefit the whole world

Show me all that you claim is ugly
And I’ll show you a mirror
So that you can look into it
And see true ugliness
Staring right back at you

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2017 was the year…

This is the final weekend of 2017.  And, yikes, what a year.  When I say that, I obviously don’t mean that 2017 was full of happiness and good cheer.  To the contrary, 2017 was crappy.  To confirm that, one needn’t look to far from the current occupant of a certain house in Washington.  Yes, the man with thin orange skin, the biggest ego in the universe, truly poor character, and a reputation of wanting to destroy (or at least unjustly distort the reputation of) anyone who doesn’t get in line with him and see the world the way he sees it.  And the way he sees it, he’s the only savior from this world of evil and prejudice, despite overwhelming evidence that he’s the leading propellant of evil and prejudice.

Yeah, You Know Who (my shorthand for the above mentioned man with thin orange skin) and his minions have led us into very dark times here in 2017.  But for every dark story this old year has wrought, there has been at least one positive story to counter it.  And with it being the end of the year, it’s high time for me to think of some positives.

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