Allison M.

A crossdresser's thoughts on life, fashion, fabulousness, and (oh yeah) dressing up

Random personal thoughts (3/17/2019 edition)

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I’m writing this on St. Patrick’s Day morning, an occasion when I feel more blah than lucky.  First off, I’ve been sick almost all week.  Usually when the season transitions from warmer to colder or vice versa, I tend to get rocked by a nasty cold that lasts much of a whole week.  It’s the case almost every October and, as this week reminds me, every March or even April.  Call it a case of my immune system trying to adjust to a different temperature extreme.

I had hoped that staying home this weekend would help my aforementioned immune system recuperate and flush this cold out of my system.  Well, not entirely.  My head doesn’t feel as stuffy as it had been during the week.  But on Saturday, I couldn’t stop sneezing.  I think some sort of irritant lodged into and made a home in my nose. (Sorry if that description sounds creepy.)  Things got so bad that I went through a whole box of facial tissue, not to mention taking two showers and cracking open a window, and employing one of those warm stream vaporizers you find at the drug store.  It was all to let some dampness or fresh (though cold) air flush whatever it is out of my nostrils.  This morning?  Well, I can tell that whatever it is in my nose still has a presence, but I’m not as sneezing as much.  Perhaps another day of rest will do the trick and I’ll feel better when the work week starts on Monday.

Oh, speaking of work…  This cold had not been bad enough for me to miss any work (though I had to miss something else that I’ll talk about in a moment).  But the past few weeks at my work assignment have been rather rough and tiring.  For the sake of confidentiality and my privacy, I won’t bore you with too much details on here.  Let’s just say, however, that there’s a big project to get as much revenue as possible into our organization from the previous services we’ve provided.  Much though not all of that missed revenue has been a result of those who had worked my duties before I came on, all because they did not follow up on over overlooked these lingering issues.  Now it’s all on the shoulders of myself and a fellow temp-to-hire colleague.  And our managers want results, or at least proof of progress, and soon.  Like, say, tomorrow!

With all these missed opportunities my predecessors left behind, I now feel a lot of pressure to perform and get positive results.  I also get a sense of disappointment from my immediate manager.  She knows it’s not entirely my fault that so many important things got missed.  But she’s quick to remind my colleague and I that it’s our responsibility to rectify the situation as best as possible.  She also knows that part of the reason is a systemic problem that’s beyond my personal control.  To that end, last week she let my colleague and I know that she will post a job opening for what will be a third member of our team, one who will have the necessary background that our manager thinks is necessary for our role.  (Okay, just one hint about what will be necessary in this role: Medical billing.)

This would be good news for us if it were not for the fact that our manager didn’t add in her breaking this news a “however” to her appreciation of hard work my colleague and I have put in.  That means that either this third role will be the necessary difference maker, a catalyst that initiates process improvements… or the replacement for my colleague, myself, or both of us.  To be clear, our manager didn’t hint that either or both of us would eventually be shown the door.  But that’s still the passing impression that both of us got, and I confirmed this with my colleague after that meeting with our manager.  Yikes.

So with that, I’m thinking it’s time to do something I haven’t had to do since I took this work assignment 7 months ago:  Brush up my resumé.  Oh, I did indeed already add my current assignment, temporary as it may be, to my resumé already.  But it might soon be time (emphasis on “might”) to start sending that resumé out again to prospective employers.  I’m hopeful that something may be out there that would be a good fit for my work skills, not to mention something that will be challenging yet not stressful, and where the supervisor is one who fosters a happy work environment and doesn’t create an aura of fear.  All of those points will allow me to be happy and create positive work.

Oh, that one thing I had been promising you tell you, about what this nasty cold of mine couldn’t allow me to do:  On Saturday, I had hoped to go shopping en femme with a couple of fellow members of our TG/CD support group.  One of them had picked out a fashionable place to shop, not to mention a place to have some lunch beforehand.

I had been hoping to be strong enough and keep down this nasty cold enough to get all dolled up and go shopping with them.  But regrettably, I had to let them know that I couldn’t make it.  Yeah, all this stuffiness, non-stop sneezing, and the resulting runny nose and raspy voice would certainly not have made me a happy shopper.

But I’m happy knowing that the two of them had an enjoyable time, even if it was without me.  One of them texted me a message of an awesome outfit the other found on a sales rack and recommended for her.  They chose well, for it looked very awesome on her.

One of these days, when I’m feeling better, settled, and have some free time, I will make up for my missing shopping time with them and get together again.  Perhaps if I remember to do so, I’ll show off to them some of the new shows I found at Shopko’s store closing sale.  But if I forget, that will be okay, for I know I’ll be spending good time with supportive people in public.  What more could a crossdresser want?

Author: Allison M.

A part of the trans community ("cross-dresser" is the term that applies to me) who finds themselves much more expressive and somewhat more confident when presenting in a feminine persona. An admirer and supporter of those who are fashionable, fabulous, and friendly (LGBT or otherwise). Someone who tries to be witty and unique, but is not even remotely perverted or a pariah (I am a real human being, just like you). Using various writing styles on this blog to communicate thoughts and feelings concerning my life experiences, fashion sense, and the world at large (and maybe impressing my high school creative writing teacher who deservedly gave me middling grades).

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