Allison M.

A crossdresser's thoughts on life, fashion, fabulousness, and (oh yeah) dressing up

Random personal thoughts (7/8/2018 edition)

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Okay, folks, since my post from earlier today regarding my job search might have left some of you as bummed out as I am, something slightly more jovial is in order.  I did already mention a couple of these in that last post and just touched on them in passing on social media, but I’ll expound on them somewhat here.

  1. Staying home isn’t all that it’s cut out to be.  Or to be more precise, staying home when you weren’t planning on doing so.  I have done the whole one-week “staycation” thing before, but that was with the intent of returning to work the following week.  Even with that, sitting in an apartment watching tennis or cycling or your DVR can leave a soul a bit stir crazy.  Actually getting out of the house to do anything does help that fear of being in stir.  Speaking of walks…
  2. A nice summer afternoon’s walk doesn’t always clear one’s mind as much as it should.  Yes, you’re out of the house, but your mind is still pondering other personal things, like “what do I need from the store?” or “did I send out that payment?” or, yes, “where should I apply to next?”  Perhaps I should find nicer destinations to take my walk; maybe that could help ease my mind.
  3. I feel much better when I’m preoccupied with something important and meaningful to do.  Like working at the office, of course.  But as I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been working on a meaningful project for a LGBT resource center here in town, and during the afternoons I worked on said project this past week, it did take my mind off of those job search worries for just a while.  I’ll be working more on it this week, and that should help ease my mind a little more.  If you find yourself in the house with nothing to do, do indeed find yourself a project, even if it’s just cleaning house.  (Oh, memo to self:  My apartment needs cleaning.)
  4. The car deserves a rest, even if you weren’t intending to let it rest.  In the 12 days since the day after my employer let me go, I’ve had to use my car just twice for transportation, and both were for reasons that had to do with my feminine side:  Last weekend to and from a poetry performance, and yesterday to and from a support group meeting.  Any other trips outside the house (for errands or just a walk) were done on my own two feet.  And believe it or not, my mind got used to not having to drive, so much so that it felt somewhat weird when I did my driving yesterday (“okay, which one is the brake pedal?”).  And speaking of things I didn’t have to do…
  5. Having a big, bushy beard does not look good on my male-mode face.  Normally when I didn’t need to go to work, or go to support groups or poetry readings as Allison, I would usually give my electric razor a rest and let the stubble grow for a day or two.  This past week, I let it grow so that by Friday, my brow and chin and jawline looked like a combination of pepper and salt (mostly the former).  And it didn’t do a thing for Male Mode Me.  I think my face may not have as many beard follicles as the average male, especially just under the lower lip where I’ve had a cut scar since I was a kid (darn blade razors).  Shaving before getting dolled up yesterday actually felt good.  And with an interview scheduled for tomorrow afternoon, I am looking forward to getting rid of that stubble once again.  Yay for clean-shaven faces.  And legs.  And underarms.  (That’s for my female side of course.)

Author: Allison M.

A part of the trans community ("cross-dresser" is the term that applies to me) who finds themselves much more expressive and somewhat more confident when presenting in a feminine persona. An admirer and supporter of those who are fashionable, fabulous, and friendly (LGBT or otherwise). Someone who tries to be witty and unique, but is not even remotely perverted or a pariah (I am a real human being, just like you). Using various writing styles on this blog to communicate thoughts and feelings concerning my life experiences, fashion sense, and the world at large (and maybe impressing my high school creative writing teacher who deservedly gave me middling grades).

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