It’s Friday as I write this, and I have the entire day off. A good thing, yes, since it gives me a three-day weekend. But it’s an even better thing for me since it’s been a major bummer of a week, thanks to taking my (supposedly) sweet little car into the shop not once but twice. The first, unplanned visit was because of a flat tire. On my drive into work on Monday, I had to dodge a little yet quite noticeable something that the construction site across from my place of employment did not sweep up. However, I heard a little “pop” in the back of my car. While I had dodged what I had to dodge, I wasn’t expecting something else in the road — a nail, which I didn’t realize I had run over until my work day ended and I came back to my car. The good news is that there was a tire place literally two doors down from my place of employment, and they were able to replace my tires and get me back on the road that night. (I say “tires” because they got me with the up-sell thing and replaced both of my rear tires, since they didn’t have a single tire in stock that matched the size of the good rear tire.)
The previously scheduled date at the car shop was yesterday afternoon. The amplifier on my car’s radio went ka-plooey a year ago, causing radio signals from in-town to sound as if they were from a distant land. I never bothered to get it replaced until this week. The good news is that the dealership arranged to order a new radio. The bad news is that the total bill for replacement and labor went into the… uh, let’s just say the mid-to-upper 3 digit range. The worse news is that it seems as if the radio wasn’t the problem. A year ago, I had thought an antenna wire was the problem, but the dealership said it was really the signal amplifier, suggesting to me that it was the radio. Now, I’m not so sure that it was the radio. One thing’s for sure, I am so going to take the car back, give the dealership a piece of my mind, and demand that they look at it again. UGH!
But enough about motor vehicle gripes. As you can tell from the banner up top, today (November 17) marks three years since I christened this blog with my first post. In the subsequent three years, there’s been quite a lot of thoughts, highlights, and events to hash out, think about, and write about. What’s struck me about these 3 years on WordPress is how much I’ve grown in terms of blogging. At the outset, I thought that one post a week about “the fashionable, fabulous, and friendly” (to borrow the line from my Gravatar bio) or a post or two about my crossdressing experiences would be satisfactory.
But this blog seems so very different three years on, and in a good way. Yes, I’m still highlighting what’s fashionable, though admittedly not as often as I had hoped. I’m still highlighting the good things about not only the crossdressing community but the broad LGBTQ community as well. But I’ve noticed a grown self-confidence in expressing myself through my writing. I’m readily more honest about who I am online. I’m more able to spill out my life and my heart through this site. And surprisingly for myself, I’m more willing to be challenged in how I write my thoughts, including a form I had never imagined I’d take a stab at, poetry. (More on that in just a little bit.)
Three years on, I can’t help but think that this increased comfort in expressing myself has led to a greater expansion out of my usual comfort zone. It’s for sure that being in my middle ages (I’m 48) and yearning to get out of the house and make one-on-one connections have played more of a part. But just as a certain stash of lingerie and women’s intimates helped pave the way for the crossdresser I am today, this blog I started three years ago today has no doubt laid the groundwork for how expressive I am today. Showing face-to-face to the world the person I am and the talents and thoughts I possess started on the blog you’re reading right now. To my fellow WordPress peeps and readers who have welcomed me, encouraged me, challenged me, or just gave some applause, I am forever grateful. Thank you.
As I noted above, one of the skills I’ve picked up through this blog… er, uh, maybe I should rephrase that: One of the expressive talents I never thought I had inside me yet have come to light through this blog is poetry writing. I think a certain “cynical” WordPress peep and their own poetry-writing talents inspired me to take the poetry route. The leaps & bounds and highs & lows I’ve went through this past year in venturing out into the public as Allison (thoughts I’ll expound in a future post, for sure) included performing my poetry as Allison. And it’s led to a certain event this very evening. “Trans Monologues,” which is being put on by the UW—Madison’s LGBT Campus Center, offers those anywhere on the gender spectrum the chance to express their honest selves and offer their talents to a welcoming audience. After being rejected for a different trans performance event earlier this summer (I’m over it), I learned about Trans Monologues through a fellow trans support group member. I offered three poems to the event for consideration, and this week I received confirmation that I’ll be performing tonight.
So, as soon as I sign off of here, the balance of my afternoon will be spent printing out and rehearsing my poems, picking out my wig and outfit, and getting myself all shaved down and prettied up. If you are reading this in Madison, we (i.e. my fellow trans sisters and brothers as well as myself) would love to perform for you. The event takes place at 6PM sharp at the downtown public library. All the details are right here. And, yes, I’ll talk about my night in detail in a subsequent post right here. Please wish us luck.