So, where have I been, you ask? I admit I haven’t been on WordPress the past couple of days. Guess I haven’t had the writing bug of late. (*sigh*)
That’s not to say I haven’t been lolly-gagging around, as my mom would put it, since last Friday. I exercised (or tried to) at the gym on Sunday. I did some shopping for presents on Saturday. And on Friday, I got dolled up and recorded footage for a video I’m hoping to edit soon… although I’m wondering if I’ll need to do a re-shoot on one scene (I’m a perfectionist sometimes).
But the best part about the past few days was at night. Well, one of those nights, to be exact. I went to a local trans/CD support group for the first time. I mentioned in the past that I attended a similar group in Milwaukee a couple of times several years ago. But in the years since, I didn’t have the gumption to attend a similar crossdressers group here in Madison. But last week, I got enough gumption. So, despite it being a frigid evening, I got dolled up, drove to the other side of town in early evening rush hour traffic, and attended a regular TG/CD group in Madison for the first time.
Now, a ground rule of the meetings is that what’s said within the group stays within the group, which is why I will not go into details; confidentiality is a virtue, you know. But I will say I did some talking and sharing but I definitely did more listening. That’s another good virtue, for sure, but it was great to hear stories and concerns from other transgender people (and we as a group have our share of stories and concerns, now more than ever); and it was only natural to do more listening than talking if you’re the relative newbie in the room.
But the best thing about the night was… I was accepted. No, I wasn’t the prettiest girl there (far from it, really), but it didn’t matter. All that was outweighed by the fact that I felt like a welcomed part of that group that evening.
So, you’re asking if I will attend that group again? Oh, you betcha! It’s a group that holds meetings on a regular basis, and there’s no pressure on attendees to be there for every meeting. So, if I’m up to it, and my schedule fits theirs, I’ll be going to more meetings… either as Allison or Male Mode Me (dressing up is not compulsory).
And while I still won’t spill beans and tell you here about what’s going on there (again, confidentiality), I do look forward to sharing more of my stories and concerns to those who are just like me. I’ve had more of a longing lately to get out of the relative safety of online life and social media interactions for the beneficial feeling of one-on-one real-life conversations. This longing has multiplied since you-know-what rocked all of our worlds last month. Yeah, it felt like a moment when you feel that need to reach out in real life to those who may be as scared as you are, or at least talk with someone who could offer reassuring comfort as we venture into the great unknown together. I can’t wait to do so, as strange and frightening as our future may be.