Allison M.

A crossdresser's thoughts on life, fashion, fabulousness, and (oh yeah) dressing up

My 2015 (and maybe my 2016)

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2015 montage

Some of my looks from 2015, which you can see more of in this album on my Flickr feed.

Yep, it’s that time again:  The waning days of December and an old year are about to give way to the newness and optimism that changing the calendar on the wall can bring.  It’s almost 2016!  And with the approach of the new year comes the thoughts about the year that’s about to end.  For most, that means a personal inventory of all they did (or didn’t) do or experience.

As for me, I try not to dwell too much on what I had hoped to do in an old year; trying to fulfill everything on a list (if one is made in the first place) can be a fool’s errand.  But with my “list of things I hope to do in 2015″ sitting in the attic that is my blog archive, I can’t help to pull that list out and review what I did and didn’t do.  So…

Did I shape up and eat right?  Well, I always thought this would be hard to do in any year.  However, I found myself running a little bit more.  I’ve never been all that athletic, but damn, did running around the block for 30+ minutes feel so good.  That running kick continued into the colder months, too, as I try to do a treadmill run during my usual Sunday morning trip to the gym at work.

Did I dress up?  Well, duh!  Of course I did.  I love playing clothes hound.

Did I have more girl time?  Well, it was just girl time with myself.  I didn’t get to meet up with a fellow crossdresser in 2015.  However, I did dare myself to venture out as Allison, crossing that off my list with my September outing at the Willy Street Fair.

Did I continue blogging?  Boy, oh boy, did I keep up this blog, challenging myself to write in ways I never envisioned when I launched this site just over a year ago.

Did I maintain online connections?  Well, my feminine side has indeed done so, especially through this blog.  It’s a thrill to have a welcoming audience on here, even more so if it continues through Twitter or wherever else.  As for my male mode…

Did I prepare myself professionally?  Well, though I did connect with an old colleague or two online (important for if and when you need a job endorsement), this is still a work in progress.  At least I still have gainful employment at the moment.

Have I been supportive?  Well, I’ve made an effort to be supportive of others, but the answer to this is in the eyes of the beholder.  Always know that if you’re a girl like me or an open-minded soul, I’ve got your back.

Did I stay happy and hopeful and positive?  Well, I’m still quite the worrywart, but I’ve tried to think positive about any little bends and bumps that appear in my road (figuratively and literally).  At least I can say for certain that while my family has had our own peaks and valleys this year as well, we’re all in a good and (generally) healthy position at the end of 2015.

Of course, I hope that all of the above will still apply at the end of 2016.  But I’m thinking about extending a couple of those things in the New Year.  You noticed I talked a few paragraphs back about my slowly evolving running kick?  I’m not sure if I’ll have the gumption to follow through on this, but my male mode side may be interested in taking part in an actual running race.  No, I’m not talking about a full marathon or even a half-marathon (that’d be way too grueling for my little frame), but maybe a simple 5k run would be cool.

I should also brace myself for anything that may arise in the employment front.  I’m still nervous that any potential changes that may surface at work will make me expendable (I always feel that way, really).  That’s not to say I don’t look forward to change:  I am hopeful that a change could lead to a new opportunity and a new set of duties.  If they do not, I will try to remain optimistic for any potential opportunities that may await me at another place of employment, taking solace and confidence in the fact that some of my colleagues will vouch for my good work.

While I’ll still dress up and take more pictures (and maybe do it a little more often), and keep up with this blog and my Twitter feed, what I really, really want to do as Allison in 2016 is get together — in person — with fellow crossdressers and other transgender people.  There’s a LGBT center here in Madison that had an open house earlier this month (they just finished a remodeling project), and Male Mode Me got enough gumption to stop in, say hello, strike up a conversation or two… and inquire about a CD/TG group that meets there at least once a month.  I haven’t met with a CD/TG group in eons, so this will feel like a pretty big step for me.  I’m really looking forward to this opportunity:  There will be no pressure or compulsories; I can dress and identify however I feel; and it just may lead to sharing and gaining meaningful advice, friendship, and whatever else may come along.

I also completely forgot about my housing situation.  I contemplated finding a new place earlier this year, but I remain settled in my current apartment, which I still really love.  It’s just that the current owner kind of freaks me out, especially with the sticker shock of my current lease (let’s just say the monthly rent is much higher than it was under the previous ownership).  Said lease will expire at the end of April, but I’ll likely have to give them a decision on whether I’m staying or not by the beginning of February, which is actually a little sooner than the lease stipulates (they’re nothing if not demanding).  I don’t know if I’ll look for another apartment in the new year or perhaps even go the condo route; what’s for sure is that I have a lot of stuff to move if I do have to uproot.

But more than anything else, my wish for 2016 is that myself, my family and friends will be in a happy, healthy, and positive state at the end of the year.  I know, that’s the same thing I wished for a year ago at this time, and sometimes my family drives me bonkers, but I love them and couldn’t bear to think of life without them.

Here’s hoping you’ve had a good (or at least bearable) 2015, and that 2016 holds nothing but good things for you.  Happy New Year, everyone! xoxo


Author: Allison M.

A part of the trans community ("cross-dresser" is the term that applies to me) who finds themselves much more expressive and somewhat more confident when presenting in a feminine persona. An admirer and supporter of those who are fashionable, fabulous, and friendly (LGBT or otherwise). Someone who tries to be witty and unique, but is not even remotely perverted or a pariah (I am a real human being, just like you). Using various writing styles on this blog to communicate thoughts and feelings concerning my life experiences, fashion sense, and the world at large (and maybe impressing my high school creative writing teacher who deservedly gave me middling grades).

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