Okay, I’ll get the question I want to ask you, dear people of the internet, out of the way: If given the chance, would you wear shorts at your place of employment? I ask this because today at work I learned that later this week, we can — if we want to, and if we make a monetary donation to charity — we can ditch the slacks, jeans, or skirts for shorts!
It’s part of an initiative our company (and let’s just say it’s a big, multi-state company in a certain industry we use everyday) set up to aid employees who are facing sudden financial issues or, in this week’s case, worthwhile organizations. Usually, the deal is if you send in a donation (which gets forwarded to the employee in need), your name goes in the hat to win a day off from work (basically, an extra day of paid vacation without having to use up the vacation time you’ve already earned). For this week’s deal, you send in your donation for the worthwhile organization (the name of which escapes me at the moment), and you receive a free pass to wear shorts to work for one day, provided your pair of shorts doesn’t violate the company’s regular dress code against anything suggestive or too revealing.
Now, you’re probably asking, “So, Allison, are you going to pay up and wear shorts?” Well… no, and I have my all-too-professional male mode self to blame. If you were to see me at work on an everyday basis, you’d find my appearance is, well, all business, every Monday thru Friday: Dress shirt, tie, slacks, well-kept hair (or as close to well-kept as I can get it), and a decent pair of shoes (though not the black leather type of shoes your stereotypical businessman would wear with his 3-piece suit; I put those on for the really important occasions). The visual image my male mode self puts into his work appearance is, I think, influenced by my attitude toward work: Put in my 8 hours each day, do as good a job as possible, take the work I do seriously, and hope all that makes a good impression on others (or at least on my supervisor).
That’s not to say, of course, I wouldn’t want to pony up cash for a worthwhile cause and let my oh so beautiful legs go on display. But there’s another thing, and I’ll let you in on a little secret: I’m so conscious about how my thighs and waistline are on display while at work (even though I am already dressed conservatively) that I wear slimming women’s shapewear underneath my male mode clothing. For the most part, the shapewear works when it comes to making my waist, hips, and thighs somewhat slim and not-too-noticeable. What, you were thinking I would wear women’s underwear to work for kicks? Oh, come on now, get your head out of the gutter. Tsk tsk.
So, to sum up, while some of you out there might take the plunge if given the privilege, ol’ prim-and-proper me won’t be showing off my legs at work for charity. But, since I am still a charitable soul, I’ll still go ahead and pony up the cash for charity; supporting a worthwhile cause is still more important than showing off a little leg.
(7/7/2015) Okay, ADDENDUM time! I want to add a couple of things to this post. (All the above stuff was last night; this is this morning.) First off, the above comments pertain to me only and they don’t necessarily have to pertain to you, okay? *LOL* If you want to wear shorts to your own place of employment, and if your employer gives you the high sign to do so for whatever reason, and if your shorts are professional enough, then by all means go ahead.
But if, like me, you still feel uncomfortable wearing shorts at work, don’t feel embarrassed if everyone else does, even if it’s, say, a non-charitable stunt. After originally posting this entry, a childhood memory surfaced in my mind surfaced of watching TV commercials for a car dealership where all the salesmen would wear shorts for a big sale. Imagine it, if you can: A group of middle-aged salesmen (and they were all men, for the record) shouting to the camera, “Come on down! We’ll do anything to get you in a brand new car!” all the while decked out in business jackets, shirts, ties… and baggy Bermuda shorts with loud prints. In the famous words of Phoebe Buffay, “My eyes! My eyes!” At least these dealers’ shorts were long enough so that we, the viewers, didn’t have to see all that cellulite on their thighs, a likely side effect of sitting at their desk most of the day while sweet talking the prospective car buyers into making a deal.
But back to the shorts thing… if you’re, like me, nowhere near a size 2 and still want to wear shorts (or maybe even wear shorts to work), Man Repeller posted some advice on wearing shorts. To summarize: Go for shorts that create an A-line silhouette and “skirts out” in the thigh area. Also, shorts that are solid-colored and paired with wedges are more flattering than denim shorts and sneakers. And cellulite? What cellulite?