Okay, now that my blog is established, I now “open the floor” to some “frequently” asked questions that I have already thought the answers to. If you’re expecting I have these answers down pat, well, that’s what press conferences are for. So, in the famous words of Pat Benatar… fire away.
“You’re really a male?”
Yes, I really am a genetic male.
“You say you’re a man, despite photos in your possession that show you as a woman?”
Yes again. I live my normal everyday life as a man, though I do dress up as a woman every now and again. So you can say I’m a part-time female; I do feel quite comfortable with that arrangement.
“How often do you dress up as a woman?”
Not as often as I wish, I’m afraid to admit. My dress-up time typically occurs on the weekend or whenever time is convenient and my personal schedule is clear and I get the urge to do so. Even though I’m not in women’s clothes on an everyday basis, thoughts of dressing up are on my mind; it leaves a good feeling that never goes away. Put it this way: You can take the girl clothing off of me, but you can’t take the girl out of me.
“So why do you dress up as a woman?”
I dress up as a woman as a way to express and add personality to my feminine side. I am of the belief that everyone has a male and female side, though understandably not everyone expresses those sides in the same way. For me, part of feminine expression involves actually dressing up as a female (wigs, dresses, shoes, hosiery, etc.).
“What’s in your wardrobe?”
Well, my style of clothing varies: I have a couple of conservative-styled dresses and pieces, a few party-style outfits (dresses and skirts), a few sweaters, a couple of leather skirts (very sexy, I know), a few pairs of shiny leggins (I absolutely love them), several shirts with cute sayings on the front (I love those), several wigs, some skirts and tops that one would call “sexy,” and a few other, uh, unmentionables. I actually have two wardrobes: The one that’s actually in my closet, and a bigger one that exists in my mind, the latter of which is one of the things I hope to expound on with this blog. Dressing up has piqued my interest in women’s fashion.
“You do have wigs? What styles of wigs?”
I have a few wigs in different hair colors, including black, sandy brown, a couple of blondes, and even a couple of neon colors. My favorite wig style—and the one I find the most flattering on me—is a straight style that goes neck- or shoulder-length; I found such a style one Halloween at Savers and it instantly became my favorite.
“Oh, sorry, perhaps I should’ve asked first—’Wig’ or ‘hair?'”
LOL! I freely admit they are wigs; my male mode hair is, well, not feminine in style, hence the need for the borrowed hair. I’m glad you brought up this question, since my rule of thumb is to refer to it in natural conversation as “hair” and not “wig.” If you’re complimenting on my “wig,” well, thank you; but if you’re complimenting on my “hair,” then that adds to my confidence to no end. (Thanks!) If I’m the one paying a compliment to a fellow crossdresser’s hairstyle, I try to refer to it as such (e.g. “What lovely hair you have”) as I think it adds to their confidence… and besides, it may very well be their natural hair.
“Have you ever purged your clothing? You know, just get rid of every bit of your feminine wardrobe?”
Well, I wouldn’t call it purging so much as getting to the point where I had to give my feminine wardrobe a good home out of circumstance (the better to keep Allison private to those who wouldn’t understand or accept); I will try to relate that story further in a future post.
“Have you ventured out as a female?”
Most all of my dress-up time has been done in the privacy of my residence, where, naturally, I feel more comfortable. However, to answer your question directly, I have indeed taken baby steps into the world when dressed up; I’ve met with other crossdressers while en femme, as well as attended a drag show while all dolled up (no, I left the performing to the professionals). I’ve even stepped outside into my neighborhood and snapped a few photos of myself. Though those occasions have been few and far between, they’ve been great adventures that have left an awesome feeling, and I look forward to going out again in the future.
“Who knows you dress up, or have seen you dress up as a woman?”
The only people who have met Allison in-person have been through online connections, and such get-togethers have been either private, one-on-one occasions or in groups of fellow crossdressers and transgender sisters and brothers (which have been a supportive atmosphere). Outside of that, the only people who are privy to Allison’s existence have been those I converse with on Twitter, URNA, or Flickr. Well, I should note that I’ve mentioned my feminine side in passing to a few other accepting people, which I’ll try to expound further in a future blog post. Absolutely nobody in my family knows I dress up, although I was caught when I was younger (that, too, is a story for another post). My relatives will never know, for they’re generally on the conservative side and I fear such a discovery would strain my relationships with them.
“Have you considered living full-time as a woman?”
Well, like I said, I’m comfortable being a part-time woman, and I do not see myself living full-time as one, the obvious reason being, again, that I would risk alienating my family if I took that step, perhaps irrevocably (and that’s a risk I don’t want to take). I would be lying, however, if I denied imagining how life would be as a woman 24/7/365 (I imagine other crossdressers like me imagine this as well). I am also supportive of anyone who has transitioned from their birth gender, and I admire them for finding their true selves.
“Are you gay? Straight? Do you have a significant other?”
To be honest, that’s a question where I feel like my response would be ever evolving. I have dated and been intimate with women in the past but have only imagined being with another man. Does my dressing up affect my sexual identification? Perhaps it does. I’ve imagined going on a date with another man or having intimate moments with another man as Allison. If you want a pat answer, I guess I could consider myself at the very least bi-curious, or to use one of the letters of the LGBT spectrum, “Q,” for “questioning.” One thing for sure is that I don’t feel my sexuality needle points all the way to the straight side. As for my relationship status, I am single and not seeing anyone , but I hope to one day find the right person (man or woman) who is open-minded and will be supportive of my feminine side.
“Well, if and when you do find that special someone, will you tell them that you dress up as a woman?”
Yes, I hope to tell them about Allison if and when the time is right, which will not occur until after I get the impression that they would be open-minded and accepting of being with a man who has a female side that comes out every now and again.
“Care to share with us your vital statistics?”
Well, I’m a statuesque 6’3″… okay, that’s not true, but here are the real numbers:
- My actual height? 5’5″ in bare stockings.
- My weight? Not the worst of numbers, but it’s not worth writing home about. (Note to self: Never stop toning up.)
- My shoe size? Women’s size 11.
- Do I smoke or drink alcohol? EWWWW, gross! Those are nasty habits I don’t care for.
- Do I dance? Sorry, I was born with two left feet. Perhaps I’m more suited for a slow dance with someone.
“So, should I refer to you as ‘guy’ or ‘girl?'”
Ah, the pronoun question. Well, just like the above question regarding “wig” versus “hair,” if you met with me and I am presenting myself as a female, I prefer feminine pronouns (“she,” “her,”); that adds to my confidence. If, however, you are unsure or slip and refer to me in masculine pronouns, I won’t get mad and I will forgive you, but I will try to steer you the other way.
“Okay, prove to me that you’re really a man.”
Uh, no. I would never post a photo of myself as a drab male on any of my online platforms. (I’m not that secure.) Additionally, I would not put up pictures of myself in feminine attire but without a wig, nor would I ever post any pictures displaying my *ahem* private parts.
“You look pretty cute.”
Awwww, thank you! I appreciate the comments; heck, I’m a sucker for them. I’ve been known to pay quite a few compliments to fellow gurls on how they look, too.
“Well, you do look better than the other girls.”
Well, I’m happy you think that, but I’ll modestly have to disagree: I believe there are countless other women out there (genetically female or otherwise) who are much better looking than I am; they are the ones I admire and look up to as an inspiration. If I look half as good as the other girls, that would be fine; if I don’t meet that goal, that’s okay too.
“What turns you on or off?”
I find it a turn-on when someone pays me a sincere compliment (again, I’m a sucker for those). I also find it a turn-on when I’m talking with someone and the topic drifts away from dressing up; it can become a deeper conversation that way. What turns me off is anyone who would throw nothing but disdain at me for my crossdressing; attitudes like those are demeaning. As well, I don’t like those who consider me as nothing more than a plaything; to borrow a song lyric, I have a name and it’s not “Hot Stuff.” If all that’s on your mind is, to put it nicely, inserting “Tab A” into “Slot B,” then I must respectfully ask you to move along.
So, if there’s isn’t anything else, I’ll step away from the podium for now and thank you for your questions. But don’t let this be the end of the conversation: If there are other burning questions on your mind, please don’t hesitate to drop me a line. Thanks!